Dating Etiquette 2001

We met at a very upscale restaurant in the business district. The sidewalk was busy with men in suits, women in skirts or dresses, scrambling like an army of ants scurrying to forage for food within

dinosaur with knife in his mouth while sitting at table

their one hour limit. I could have been happy just people watching, primarily the men in suits. I love a man in a suit. All of my fantasies involve a man wearing a suit. Shhhh, readers. Don’t tell anyone that, it will be our little secret.

I went early to snag a table before the lunch crowd. Kimmel arrived wearing sneakers, shorts and a well worn T-shirt.

Strike one.

“Let’s order lunch first, then we can chat.” Kimmel said.

“I already know what I’m ordering. They have a scrumptious burger here.”

As soon as the waiter finished taking our order, the questioning began.

“So how long have you been divorced, Wendy? And, why did you divorce?”

“It’s been about five years. The short answer is my ex was, is a work alcoholic. Our roles were cemented; he brought home the bacon and I did everything else. As the kids got older and started asking why dad was never around, I could no longer make excuses or deny the obvious. When I suggested we go to counseling, he said no, nothing is going to change, everything stays as is. So, the three kids and I left.”

“Hmmm…that’s interesting. I wasn’t too involved with my kids either. I don’t see a problem with that.” he said as he placed his knife down his throat, like a sword swallower, tipping his head back to lick off the pasta sauce.

Licking his knife? Both sides of the knife! I bet his kids lick their knives, too.

Strike two

I managed not to correct him, trying to concentrate on what I was about to say. “My ex is still furious I left. He thought we had the perfect marriage. Duh. He had everything he wanted, his way. To punish me, he won’t contribute to college; a captain in the military with a very good income. So I started my business to help my kids pay for their tuitions.”

“So? You expect him to pay for college? Wow. I have three small kids and I’m certainly not going to put money aside for their college. They’re on their own at eighteen. If they want to go to college, that’s their problem.”

Strike three and your out!