Ping Pong vs Table Tennis

That was the first question I asked Roger when we met at Starbucks. It was a beautiful spring day, so we sat outside to soak up some much-needed warmth after a particularly cold winter.

“Well, there is a big difference,” Roger explained, in his adorable British accent. “Ping pong is a casual game played for fun. Table tennis has professionally trained competitors. The tournaments are held around the world, so I travel a great deal.”

Why is it that everything spoken with a British accent sounds more intelligent, so charming? “I am sorry, Wendy, that I only have 30 minutes today to meet with you.”

“That’s fine, I understand, you’re a busy guy. Is that why you live in three different places? Along with England, one where my daughter just happens to live in Virginia, the other, where my best friend just happens to live in New Jersey? Quite a coincidence.”

“Yes, it is. Those towns each have a large professional table tennis community. Oh, look at the time. I know it has been quick, but I did enjoy meeting you. Can we meet again when I have more time? I think this could work out.”

“Sure, I have many more questions. I didn’t even get the chance to tell you how much ping pong I played while growing up. I look forward to hearing from you.”

My Starbucks was only three miles from my house. As I drove home, I imagined flying to England to watch a tournament, or staying with my friend in NJ. As I walked into the house, I could hear the familiar ding on my computer indicating a new message. I checked, and to my surprise, there was one from Roger already. That was fast, I thought, he must really like me.

Ping: Wendy, I enjoyed meeting you, but before we go any further, I have a question. Were we to continue getting to know one another, would you let me finish?

Pong: I don’t understand your question. Would I let you finish, your sentence? Did I cut you off while we were talking?

Ping: No, you didn’t interrupt. I mean, if we become intimate would you let me finish?

Pong: I’m sorry, can you be clearer about what you are asking? Do you mean would we finish at the same time?

Ping: No, we wouldn’t finish together. Would you finish me?

Pong: Are you asking if I would just leave, if I have finished, and you haven’t? Just leave you, umm, hanging, so to speak? I think I need your definition of ‘finish’.

Ping: You know, finish me.

Pong: Again, your definition of finish? Just tell me what you are asking, be specific.

Ping: You must know what I mean, finish me.

I was beginning to get an idea of the answered he hoped he would get from me, just by process of elimination. But I was determined that he actually say it.

Pong: I don’t know how else to ask if you will finish me.

Ping Pong Ping Pong The messages continued to fly back and forth without further explanation of his question.

I finally accepted the fact he could not or would not say it outright. I wanted to ‘finish’ this conversation.

Ping: Roger, are you trying to ask me if I would swallow?

Pong: Well, if you must put it that way, yes. It’s a dealbreaker for me.

Ping: Well, now you will never know my answer to that question. If that is your dealbreaker, you just crossed my dealbreaker.

Score!

Game,

Set,

No match.