Conspiracy Theorist

Today's email: "Wendy, my name is Stan. I like your profile and wonder if you would like to meet for lunch or dinner sometime? I would prefer lunch; I know a wonderful little restaurant in Leesburg.

Would Wednesday, work for you?”

“Hello, Stan. Are you suggestion Lightfoot restaurant? That is one of my favorite places for lunch. Yes, Wednesday works for me.”

“I got here early to get the best table. I hope you don’t mind me sitting first.” Stan said as to stood to greet me with a handshake.

“Not at all. Next to the fireplace is the best table.”

“I’m glad to meet you. I would like to explain something first, if you don’t mind?”

“Please, by all means, go right ahead.”

“Well, I want to tell you I am married and that will never change. I will never divorce my wife. She has multiple sclerosis and lives in a nursing home. The last time she recognized me, she told me to date to find a new love. She didn’t want me to be alone.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. It must be very hard for you and your family.”

“Yes, it is, but we are adjusting. My children know that I am dating. They also support me finding a new relationship. I would want someone that I was dating to be a part of my family, to be willing to visit my wife with me every Sunday.”

“That is a lot to take in all at one time. I will have to think about this.”

“I understand. Ok, that’s enough on that subject. Tell me about your life.”

I went through the basics of my family, my toffee business, my children. A story even I was getting tired of repeating during each of these so-called dates. So, I tried to steer the conversation in a new direction.

“So, have you heard the latest news? Bill Clinton is sterile, and Chelsea is not his daughter.”

“No, I have not heard that. Where did you hear that?”

“I read it in the paper this morning, USATODAY, I think. But you know what ‘they’ say. You can’t believe everything you read. I just thought it was interesting, and how would anyone know that information?”

“I think we should change the subject again. Do you play golf?”

The chit chat continued until our lunches were devoured.

“I enjoyed meeting you, Wendy. I’d like to meet again, maybe for dinner next time. I’ll give you a call.”

”Hi, Wendy. How are you doing? I was talking to my son, and he agrees with me. We believe you are a conspiracy theorist. My son doesn’t believe I should get involved with you.”

“Whoa. Because I mentioned something I read in the paper, acknowledging I didn’t believe everything I read in the paper?”

“Yes. You are just too radical for us, and we agree you shouldn’t be part of our family.”

SPEECHLESS…