Cougar and MILF are slang terms that were coined after I came towards the end of my dating adventures. But, the concept has been around as long as dating, itself.
Thank you! Now if they can stop using the women their age, too. When did actual relationships become like not even held up as a good thing by most people, even on here? Blehh. I may be oversimplifying. But that's the Ideal.
Wendy, from another Wendy, I salute you and your raw honesty. Honestly, the seemingly endless and warring dance between male and female, going on for centuries but increasingly harrowing in 2024. I am 71 and the last thing on earth I want is a sex partner. Sex has been over-sold. The soul does not get fed, the spirit starves, and often, for women, the private parts are misused in some way. Porn is from the devil, 100%. Sexuality is not entertainment. I know the rawness of human beings and much of my own Substack is a chronicle of my own disastrous journey through the Sexual Revolution of my own youth. Disaster, all the way. "Cougar" and MILF are terms of disrespect. Men and women are not machines, we are souls encased in a physical body. I prefer the solitude of my Elder years and do not seek men, certainly not young men. They seem to have no clue about the realities of actually getting older! Blessings also to all who commented on your writing piece! Choose carefully, dear Wendy, as I know you are. Take GOOD care, you are needed. Blessings to you, Wendy (W. E. W. initials for Wendy Elizabeth Williams)
Oh boy, those do get old! I’ve found a few good men on the dating sites, but mostly just seems to be a time waster. I’m 55 and would get those comments at times also.
I tried online dating a few years back, I think I was in my late 50’s early 60’s. Age range same as me. The men I were approached by were close to my age, but besides sex, they wanted an old fashioned woman who would marry them, and keep care of their home and whatever else that entailed, a lot of them had young children. No thank you. One even lived on an island. A double no thanks!
So I decided to not divorce the one I was with and shifted my perception to living more harmoniously as housemates. I learned to pick my battles, but mostly I am free to be me in whatever capacity that entails.
Just last month I was approached at an AA meeting by a “bad boy” type I used to always be attracted to “back in the day.” He was about 4 years older than my eldest son—I still could have been his mother. It was a flattering brunch with him. However, the generation gap showed rather quickly in our differences in music, political affiliations, and what clinched it was his belief that the wold was flat. There were things I did like, but it would not have been enough to sustain an ongoing relationship.
I really enjoy your perspectives. I would so not want to be in my 30 something’s again! Even my daughter who is 47 feels the gen gap.
...ah good old porn...this might explain our current human situation...decades of being raised watching staged reality from porn to “reality tv” wondering why our real worlds don’t match it...i was at a friend’s wedding afterparty watching a movie that builds to an earthquake in a cemetery at which point the real world had an earthquake and after all the shaking stopped i went ahead and suggested we start watching a movie where everyone gets gifted a ton of money...it didn’t work...it never does...thanks as always for sharing!...
I gave that a lot of thought.. reading it , it would be “A” , reading aloud because “M” sounds like it starts with an “E”, I put th an. The problem being, I read out loud inside my head.🦕
Happens when you see a work written but haven't heard it spoken aloud. It's the reason really prodigious readers will pronounce words wrong. They see them written but don't have the worldliness to have ever heard them said.
I would have written “an” also. I feel “a” in front of a vowel start is like fingernails on a chalkboard. It either became trendy a few short years ago amongst the younger generation, or people are getting lazy and not proofreading. 🤷🏻♀️
Like so many other teenagers, this idiot has obviously learned the "arts of the goddess Venus" from internet porn.
Those folks are incredible actors. Especially at "faking it."
The only time I ever saw a dirty movie was when I was in the Navy in Japan, serving in an Armed Forces Radio and Television Services station. I did TV production. One night after my TV board shifted ended at 2 a.m., I returned to my barracks room to find my roommates and pals staring at a porn movie.
I stared at the screen for a few moments and muttered, "Their focus is off and they didn't white balance. That's why the color is so hard. A real amateur production."
My roommates stared at me, puzzled. I had to remember that they were 19 and was 29. I could not understand why these bloody fools simply didn't go out and find a real live woman, instead of staring at an act of fakery and fiction.
You will hear no disagreement from me…the porn trafficking industry is horrific.
In New York, In addition to the problem you discuss, we have the issue of runaway teenagers of both sexes who land at Port Authority Bus Terminal, fleeing home horrors, naively believing they can become “big stars.”
Instead, “Chicken Hawks” scoop them up, promising, “I can make you a big star…but first, you have to make love to this guy…”
Then, after beatings and rape, the kid is both a prostitute on our streets and the “star” of dirty movies.
And a prisoner of the Chicken Hawk until he or she either ages out or dies of drugs.
Well, at least he was honest ... I think. It's hard to tell, but when he comes right out and admits his sex life exists on porn sites, etc., ...... well, I don't know. I thank whatever god exists that I don't have that kind of man in my life. And you're right. Women aren't all that interested in sex. And if they are, they can make an outrageous amount of money in some rural Nevada town with a lot of truckers rolling into the brothel.
He may have claimed to be 32, but his brain with still 17. And apparently sex is still expected on the first date regardless of getting to know the intended victim of his ardor. Is that how it is these days? I guess dating app hook-ups are cheaper than going to a brothel. We need to bring those back maybe.
I knew guys like that , They all had different reasons for doing it . Your right the terms has been around for ever . Except it seems some people have no idea the meanings anymore . I got a im other day , lady said i am a 21 year old milf , if she is a milf i passed from old age lol . great article my friend, hugs to you Wendy and all the other readers
Omg! Your adventures always make me laugh! When I was briefly online dating in the early 2000s after I got divorced I did not encounter this phenomena.
I’m so glad to see this conversation. My son is closer to 50 than 45. I’ve been married for 39 years, so dating isn’t an issue, but I’ve tried to imagine what it would be like. Thank you for sharing.
LOL, Oh my Lordt. I feel like that's so true. Little boys watching porn and thinking that's what real life/relationships is all about. <SMH>
Sad but true. 🦕
I love this, Wendy. One day I'll be bold enough to share some of my stories 😉
It seems many women have great or should I say bad, dating stories. Thanks for reading. 🦕
Haha! Those lil' punks. :D
Thank you! Now if they can stop using the women their age, too. When did actual relationships become like not even held up as a good thing by most people, even on here? Blehh. I may be oversimplifying. But that's the Ideal.
Wendy, from another Wendy, I salute you and your raw honesty. Honestly, the seemingly endless and warring dance between male and female, going on for centuries but increasingly harrowing in 2024. I am 71 and the last thing on earth I want is a sex partner. Sex has been over-sold. The soul does not get fed, the spirit starves, and often, for women, the private parts are misused in some way. Porn is from the devil, 100%. Sexuality is not entertainment. I know the rawness of human beings and much of my own Substack is a chronicle of my own disastrous journey through the Sexual Revolution of my own youth. Disaster, all the way. "Cougar" and MILF are terms of disrespect. Men and women are not machines, we are souls encased in a physical body. I prefer the solitude of my Elder years and do not seek men, certainly not young men. They seem to have no clue about the realities of actually getting older! Blessings also to all who commented on your writing piece! Choose carefully, dear Wendy, as I know you are. Take GOOD care, you are needed. Blessings to you, Wendy (W. E. W. initials for Wendy Elizabeth Williams)
Oh boy, those do get old! I’ve found a few good men on the dating sites, but mostly just seems to be a time waster. I’m 55 and would get those comments at times also.
I tried online dating a few years back, I think I was in my late 50’s early 60’s. Age range same as me. The men I were approached by were close to my age, but besides sex, they wanted an old fashioned woman who would marry them, and keep care of their home and whatever else that entailed, a lot of them had young children. No thank you. One even lived on an island. A double no thanks!
So I decided to not divorce the one I was with and shifted my perception to living more harmoniously as housemates. I learned to pick my battles, but mostly I am free to be me in whatever capacity that entails.
Just last month I was approached at an AA meeting by a “bad boy” type I used to always be attracted to “back in the day.” He was about 4 years older than my eldest son—I still could have been his mother. It was a flattering brunch with him. However, the generation gap showed rather quickly in our differences in music, political affiliations, and what clinched it was his belief that the wold was flat. There were things I did like, but it would not have been enough to sustain an ongoing relationship.
I really enjoy your perspectives. I would so not want to be in my 30 something’s again! Even my daughter who is 47 feels the gen gap.
...ah good old porn...this might explain our current human situation...decades of being raised watching staged reality from porn to “reality tv” wondering why our real worlds don’t match it...i was at a friend’s wedding afterparty watching a movie that builds to an earthquake in a cemetery at which point the real world had an earthquake and after all the shaking stopped i went ahead and suggested we start watching a movie where everyone gets gifted a ton of money...it didn’t work...it never does...thanks as always for sharing!...
"An MILF?" Like Anne Elk (brackets Ms. brackets)?
As in Mother I would Like to
F€%k
I know what it means. I think you're supposed to say "A" and not "An", though- that was what fooled me.
I gave that a lot of thought.. reading it , it would be “A” , reading aloud because “M” sounds like it starts with an “E”, I put th an. The problem being, I read out loud inside my head.🦕
Both Mother and MILF (you don't say the letters, you pronounce it as a word) are hard M sounds so you would use "A" not "an."
Yes, I should have checked with my editor. My problem is talking to myself out loud in my head, saying each letter individually.
Happens when you see a work written but haven't heard it spoken aloud. It's the reason really prodigious readers will pronounce words wrong. They see them written but don't have the worldliness to have ever heard them said.
You say milf so it sounds kinda like milk.
I would have written “an” also. I feel “a” in front of a vowel start is like fingernails on a chalkboard. It either became trendy a few short years ago amongst the younger generation, or people are getting lazy and not proofreading. 🤷🏻♀️
Oh, I so appreciate your support on the ‘an’. I hate to make grammatical errors. 😊🦕
Like so many other teenagers, this idiot has obviously learned the "arts of the goddess Venus" from internet porn.
Those folks are incredible actors. Especially at "faking it."
The only time I ever saw a dirty movie was when I was in the Navy in Japan, serving in an Armed Forces Radio and Television Services station. I did TV production. One night after my TV board shifted ended at 2 a.m., I returned to my barracks room to find my roommates and pals staring at a porn movie.
I stared at the screen for a few moments and muttered, "Their focus is off and they didn't white balance. That's why the color is so hard. A real amateur production."
My roommates stared at me, puzzled. I had to remember that they were 19 and was 29. I could not understand why these bloody fools simply didn't go out and find a real live woman, instead of staring at an act of fakery and fiction.
You will hear no disagreement from me…the porn trafficking industry is horrific.
In New York, In addition to the problem you discuss, we have the issue of runaway teenagers of both sexes who land at Port Authority Bus Terminal, fleeing home horrors, naively believing they can become “big stars.”
Instead, “Chicken Hawks” scoop them up, promising, “I can make you a big star…but first, you have to make love to this guy…”
Then, after beatings and rape, the kid is both a prostitute on our streets and the “star” of dirty movies.
And a prisoner of the Chicken Hawk until he or she either ages out or dies of drugs.
Been there. Tried it and didn’t want to live in ‘Wayne’s World.’
lol, good one!🦕
Well, at least he was honest ... I think. It's hard to tell, but when he comes right out and admits his sex life exists on porn sites, etc., ...... well, I don't know. I thank whatever god exists that I don't have that kind of man in my life. And you're right. Women aren't all that interested in sex. And if they are, they can make an outrageous amount of money in some rural Nevada town with a lot of truckers rolling into the brothel.
Hysterical,Sue! But you are absolutely correct. He was honest but in such a naïve way. I felt he needed his bubble popped, bubble of delusions. 🦕
He may have claimed to be 32, but his brain with still 17. And apparently sex is still expected on the first date regardless of getting to know the intended victim of his ardor. Is that how it is these days? I guess dating app hook-ups are cheaper than going to a brothel. We need to bring those back maybe.
Wow, does this ever ring true!
Thanks, even though 20 years ago, I think it is almost more relevant now. 🦕
I knew guys like that , They all had different reasons for doing it . Your right the terms has been around for ever . Except it seems some people have no idea the meanings anymore . I got a im other day , lady said i am a 21 year old milf , if she is a milf i passed from old age lol . great article my friend, hugs to you Wendy and all the other readers
Omg! Your adventures always make me laugh! When I was briefly online dating in the early 2000s after I got divorced I did not encounter this phenomena.
I’m so glad to see this conversation. My son is closer to 50 than 45. I’ve been married for 39 years, so dating isn’t an issue, but I’ve tried to imagine what it would be like. Thank you for sharing.